Best Friend Accuses Woman Of Faking Bis__uality To Sound Cooler

Coming out is a deeply personal and often nerve-wracking experience, and OP thought her long-time friend, Kate, would be a safe space.

After years of questioning her s__uality, OP finally decided to share her truth with Kate, hoping for support. However, the conversation quickly turned sour.

Kate’s response was not the encouragement OP expected. Instead, she accused OP of faking her bis__uality and trying to “steal” her own identity.

Now, OP is wondering if she was wrong for coming out or if Kate’s reaction is unjustified. Keep reading to see how this emotional situation unfolds!

Friend accuses OP of “stealing” her bis__uality, leaving them feeling guilty

Best Friend Accuses Woman Of Faking Bis__uality To Sound Cooler
not the actual photo

'AITA for “copying” my friends s__uality?'

For the sake of the story I’ll call my friend Kate.

So I’ve been friends with Kate ever since we were 11, we’re both 20 now and both women.

Kate came out as bisexual when we were 16 and obviously I was supportive of her.

It wasn’t until I was 18 that I started to question my own s__uality

and decided that I was in fact bis__ual.

Since then I haven’t told anyone about it mainly

because I just wanted to keep it to myself

and just really wasn’t comfortable with telling people yet.

That was until last week I decided to bite the bullet and tell Kate about it over text

At first she was supportive telling me how happy she was for me

until she started asking me if I was 100% sure and not just confused.

I told her that I’m positive that I am and have known about it for years.

She then tells me that she just has a hard time believing it

because she hasn’t seen me take an interest in girls

(I definitely have and like I said, I kept it to myself)

or talked about girls when I’ve talked about boys.

I told her that I just didn’t feel comfortable coming out

and that I am attracted to girls and I just haven’t found the courage yet to ask out a girl

Long story short, we went back and forth a couple of times

until she eventually told me that she feels like I’m “copying” her

and just told her I was bisexual to sound cooler than I actually am (?)

and that how she doesn’t appreciate me trying to steal her s__uality.

I eventually told her that I’m done with the conversation

and that I’m going to bed and I haven’t spoke to her since.

I very much regret coming out to her and I still know that I’m bis__ual

but I can’t help but feel guilty and like a attention-seeking a__hole

In this situation, OP is navigating a challenging emotional terrain of self-discovery and coming out. The fear of judgment and misunderstanding is a deeply human experience, especially when revealing something so personal and intimate.

OP’s decision to share her bisexuality with her close friend Kate was a brave step in embracing her identity, yet what followed was met with unexpected rejection and invalidation.

This experience often triggers feelings of guilt and self-doubt, as OP now feels like she did something wrong by simply sharing a part of herself that was both true and significant.

This emotional burden is compounded by the fact that Kate, someone who OP had trusted to be supportive, responded in a way that made OP feel like an imposter rather than someone deserving of acceptance.

Psychologically, this reaction speaks to something many people experience during their journey with their s__uality: the fear of invalidation.

OP’s experience of Kate accusing her of “copying” her s__uality highlights the common insecurity people can feel about their own identities when they’re not given the space or support to fully explore them.

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This fear can stem from a lack of understanding about how bisexuality works and manifests differently in every individual.

Kate’s response, suggesting that OP was “stealing” her s__uality, could indicate that she feels threatened by OP’s expression of bis__uality, as if it diminishes her own journey or experience.

Kate might have internalized some unresolved feelings about her own s__uality or faced challenges with acceptance that led her to react defensively.

It’s important to note that these feelings, while understandable on Kate’s side, don’t justify making OP feel guilty or invalid for exploring her identity.

Expert insights can provide a clearer perspective on this.

According to psychologists, s__ual fluidity is an aspect of human s__uality where individuals may experience different levels of attraction or identify in diverse ways over their lifetime. The work explores how s__uality is not fixed for everyone, and some people may identify as bis__ual later in life.

In reflecting on the situation, OP has every right to explore their s__uality at their own pace and without being judged or compared to others. Kate’s reaction was unfair, and OP should not feel guilty for embracing a part of their identity.

Feeling invalidated is painful, but it doesn’t mean OP’s bis__uality is any less real or authentic. The guilt is understandable, but it stems from the natural desire to be accepted and loved for who we are.

Healthy relationships, especially in a friendship, should be built on mutual support and understanding, something that might need to be revisited with Kate. OP’s feelings are valid, and their journey is theirs to define.

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OP is not an a__hole for coming out or for wanting to share their identity with others. The situation speaks more to the complexity of relationships and the need for patience and support when it comes to embracing one’s true self.

It’s important to remember that self-discovery is an ongoing process, and sometimes people around us may need time to fully understand or accept it.

The guilt OP feels is a natural byproduct of being hurt by someone they trusted, but that doesn’t take away from the authenticity of OP’s identity.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Multiple users pointed out that Kate is acting as a gatekeeper for the LGBTQ+ community

noodleeaterluvr − NTA, she does know that she isn't the only bisexual person

in the world right? I came out as a lesbian three years ago

and my sister came out as a lesbian last year, Im not going to tell her she's "copying" me?

[Reddit User] − NTA. She is literally acting like a gate keeper for sexuality. Jesus

jaded_angel85 − NTA

She’s gatekeeping & that’s not ok

These commenters used wit to highlight the absurdity of Kate’s claim

CaptainLollygag − Obviously Kate was just copying me,

seeing as I've been bi longer than she's been alive.

But wait, obviously I was copying David Bowie because he was born before me.

Waitaminute, obviously David Bowie was copying Oscar Wilde.

You do you. You can like ladies or men or both or neither or anyone in between or no one.

And still have valid feelings.

Drawn_to_purpose − NTA. She’s not the first bisexual to ever exist, so who did she copy?

No one has a right to gate-keep your sexuality.

This group validated OP personal journey

RagaMuffinSun − NTA-Not coming out until you were ready

and not acting the way she thinks you should act, in this case talking about boys

but not girls, doesn’t mean you aren’t bisexual or that you’re copying her.

She’s an a__hole for trying to gatekeep bisexuality.

When I realized I was bisexual I didn’t talk about noticing women

or having a crush on a woman either but I still noticed then and still had crushes.

I was still bisexual even if I was still learning to be comfortable being open about it.

unmarkedosprey − NTA you needed time and that is ok everyone goes at their own pace

[Reddit User] − NTA. Sexuality is a spectrum. Even if you were to decide later

on that being bisexual wasn't your thing, you're not copying her.

It's human nature to find s__ual and romantic partners,

it's not something determined by which way you swing.

Users categorized Kate’s reaction as petty and self-centered

MaximusIsKing − NTA. Kate needs to get over herself,

she doesn’t get to have a monopoly on being bisexual

and doesn’t get to police other people’s sexuality.

Her reaction is immature and petty.

Don’t worry about her OP, you do you. 🌈🤍🌈🤍🌈

Moggetti − NTA. Does Kate think she’s the only bisexual on earth?

She thinks that she get’s to stand in judgment to decide whether someone ”counts”

as bisexual? She sounds like she’s a self-involved twit.

OP’s feelings of guilt and self-doubt are understandable, but it’s important to recognize that coming out is a deeply personal experience and a journey.

The issue here isn’t about OP’s sexuality, but how Kate reacted to it. Kate’s response, questioning OP’s authenticity and implying that OP was “copying” her, was not supportive or understanding.

It’s possible that Kate’s reaction was rooted in her own insecurities or confusion, but that doesn’t justify her dismissive behavior towards OP’s honest expression of who they are.

The idea that someone’s bisexuality or sexuality is theirs to “own” or “steal” is flawed. Being open and honest about one’s identity doesn’t take away from anyone else’s.

Kate’s lack of support and her hurtful comments were not something OP deserved, and it’s clear that OP was just trying to share a vulnerable part of themselves.

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OP is not an “attention-seeking a__hole.” They simply trusted a friend with something deeply personal, and Kate’s response was not what anyone should expect from someone they consider a friend.

In this situation, OP was simply trying to be honest with their friend, and Kate’s reaction reflects a lack of understanding and emotional maturity.

Should OP continue to carry the guilt, or is this an opportunity to reflect on how toxic friendships can impact self-esteem and vulnerability?

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