New Mom Astounds Family With Blunt Comeback When Cousin Keeps Demanding To ‘Babysit’

A new mother of three young children, all breastfed and still so small, found herself cornered by relentless family pressure during a holiday gathering. Her cousin refused to accept repeated refusals about watching the four-month-old twins, turning a simple no into an exhausting battle that tested every boundary.

Exhaustion from unannounced visits and overstepping relatives had already worn the couple thin, especially with the twins exclusively relying on breastfeeding. At the New Year’s Eve event, the cousin’s insistence escalated when she physically reached for one of the babies at the door, prompting a frustrated stand that left family members shocked and demanding an apology.

New mom sets firm boundary after cousin repeatedly pushes to babysit twins.

New Mom Astounds Family With Blunt Comeback When Cousin Keeps Demanding To 'Babysit'
Not the actual photo.

'AITA For being "crude" when my cousin kept asking to babysit?'

I have four month old twins, and an eighteen month old daughter. All three are breastfed, twins exclusively breastfed (EBF).

Since my boys my family has been insane, constantly showing up unannounced, to the point where my wife had to literally escort my cousin out.

We went to my parents place for New Years Eve, we were only planning on being there for a few hours so our daughter could have some interaction that isn't...

Naturally the boys came up, people kept asking to hold them. My cousin then piped up and asked if she could babysit the boys.

I said no, they're breastfed and don't take bottles. She said she was sure she could get them to take bottles as she'd 'managed before'

(she gave out daughter a bottle when she was twelve months, after she'd been using a cup for a few months).

I told her that, no, they wouldn't be having bottles.

In any situation. Every few minutes she'd ask again, keep pushing it, coming up with new ideas. None of which I am going to go for, obviously.

Just as we were getting ready to leave, she followed us to the door, and quite literally tried to pull one of the boys from me so she could give...

She then asked, again, if I was sure they couldn't have a bottle, or if I could just pop back in whenever they were hungry.

I turned back to her and said 'Unless you plan on popping a tit out and putting it in his mouth you are not watching him.'

Wife found it hilarious, I took my baby back and we left.

Since then family has been calling me crude and stuck up, because she was just asking, saying I could of been kinder.

In my opinion, I said no multiple times and she kept pushing. My wife thinks that I could of potentially left it, but agrees that she had it coming.

Although my wife doesn't like my family so take that with a grain of salt. I do feel a little bad - she's autistic and sometimes doesn't understand things

but I feel like I was being obvious enough. I don't know.

I have apologised, but she left me on read. My family has since stated they don't want to see my until I make it up to her.

Which I presume means letting her babysit, which isn't happening.

My children aren't dolls. But, I'm still being treated like an a__hole. Was what I did really that bad?

A few friends said they'd be really upset, but I don't think they really grasp how agitated I was. So, aita?

ETA: Some people seem to think I'm the father.

I am not! We're just lesbians. I carried all three kids.

ETA 2: She's twenty one, not a teen.

The mom of three faced relentless pressure from her cousin to babysit exclusively breastfed four-month-old twins, despite clear explanations about their feeding needs and the parents’ comfort level. The cousin’s persistence, even attempting to take a baby at the door, ignored multiple “no”s, leading to that blunt comeback.

From one side, the parent’s frustration is completely understandable. With infants so young, breastfeeding routines are delicate, introducing bottles too casually risks supply issues or refusal, and many parents prefer keeping care close in the early months.

The cousin’s history of giving a bottle to an older child didn’t align with the twins’ current EBF status, and pushing physical boundaries only heightened the tension. Autism can make social nuances trickier, but repeated requests after clear refusals still cross into disrespect for parental authority.

On the flip side, some might argue the response could have been softer to preserve family harmony, especially knowing the cousin’s neurodivergence. The family piling on afterward, issuing ultimatums about future visits, highlights how quickly these situations escalate into broader rifts. Yet, parents aren’t obligated to hand over their children like communal dolls just to keep the peace.

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This story spotlights a wider issue in family dynamics: boundary struggles. Research from the Thriving Center of Psychology found that 72% of Americans struggle to set healthy family boundaries due to guilt or obligation, which can contribute to anxiety and resentment over time.

Family therapist Jain notes a key sign it’s time for boundaries: “The work that I do as a family therapist is to understand when you start disconnecting with your core self.” She emphasizes establishing them when “your core sense of self, values, and beliefs become questionable.”

This resonates here. The mom was protecting her family’s routines and her wife’s comfort, staying true to their values as new parents rather than yielding to pressure.

Clinical psychologist Aura De Los Santos adds perspective on assertiveness: “Boundaries tell others how far they can go, which protects us. When we say ‘no,’ it helps us avoid situations in which we may later feel uncomfortable or have a bad attitude.” In the heat of the moment, the direct wording served as a firm line after gentler approaches failed.

Neutral advice? A calm follow-up conversation explaining the “why” behind the no, perhaps offering alternative low-stakes involvement like supervised visits, could help. But safety and parental instincts come first, no one should feel bullied into childcare arrangements. Families thrive when respect flows both ways.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Many users agree that the poster is not an asshole because “no” must be respected after repeated attempts.

evelbug − NTA - you were kinder, the first x number of times you were asked.

Kinder wasn't getting the point across, so you needed to try something different.

[Reddit User] − Nta. No means no and she kept pushing. You tried and tried and she kept pushing and you exploded. What did she expect?

Obvious-Result6853 − NTA. I agree with your wife that, while yes, you could have said something differently, your cousin had it coming.

No means no. You were extremely patient with her for an extended period of time and at some point we all have our limit and say something maybe too far.

It’s extremely disrespectful for your family to continue to disrespect you and your wife the way they have. I’d stand my ground if I were you.

I would personally say “good, at least now I know y’all won’t come over uninvited” but I’m also petty.

Some people emphasize that the parents have the absolute right to decide who cares for their infant children.

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Groggy_Doggy − NTA why do people get so obsessive about other people’s babies? They’re not toys or possessions!

You as parents know what’s best for your kid, they can ask, but your choice should be respected.

[Reddit User] − NTA That's hilarious, and it's pretty refreshing to see a post where someone is sticking up for their partner and kids against their relatives

Due-Asparagus6479 − NTA She doesn't sound mature enough to watch after babies.

Some users believe that neurodivergence does not excuse a failure to follow boundaries or understand the word “no.”

Accomplished-Sugar-7 − NTA - they’re your children and they are FOUR MONTHS OLD. Autism isn’t an excuse to not understand the word “no”.

If your cousin can’t grasp the concept of no then they shouldn’t be babysitting anyways.

heishancell − NTA-mother of autistic child here. While I adore my child and do not like seeing his feelings hurt, sometimes life has to be pretty blunt for him to...

But these are your children. No one has the right to insist on babysitting. Period. And you got crude because being blunt did not stop her.

Do not let the family bully you into letting her babysit-these are children not pawns.

Good for you for setting a boundary and your family should have backed you up.

The safety of your children and raising them the way you want, whether anyone else’s agrees or not is your choice for whatever reasons you want.

Other people highlight the specific challenges of breastfeeding and infant care as valid reasons for refusing a babysitter.

Issyswe − NTA, I wouldn’t leave my newborns (about to give birth to twin boys myself) with ANYONE these earliest months, especially in a pandemic.

I don’t care if it’s a godd__n wet nurse! She way overstepped multiple times, is too young at 21 probably to understand maintaining supply and nipple confusion,

and just…NO. Your extended family sounds like they could use some boundary reminders as well.

[Reddit User] − I'm sorry but "we're just lesbians" made me laugh. And I think your t__ comment was hilarious.

NTA and I certainly wouldn't let someone babysit my b__astfed babies who are practically newborns.

This new mom’s stand reminds us that protecting your little ones sometimes means getting real when words fail. Do you think her direct response was justified after repeated pushes, or should she have kept it sweeter?

How do you handle overeager family with your own boundaries? Drop your thoughts below, we’d love to hear how you’d navigate this baby-filled family fiasco.

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