Woman Hates Boyfriend’s Cooking And Wants Him To Stop, Now He’s Serving Silent Treatment

A woman’s frustration mounted in her brand-new relationship when her boyfriend repeatedly served her tiny portions while piling his own plate high. Though she explained multiple times that she eats a hearty amount despite her slim build, he dismissed her concerns with remarks about her body size.

After several fruitless conversations, she finally set a firm boundary and declared they would each cook separately until he truly respected her needs. He reacted by claiming she was spoiling their dinners together and responded with cold silence.

Woman sets cooking boundary after boyfriend repeatedly serves tiny portions despite talks.

Woman Hates Boyfriend's Cooking And Wants Him To Stop, Now He's Serving Silent Treatment
Not the actual photo.

'AITAH for telling my boyfriend I don’t want us to cook for each other anymore?'

My (F30) boyfriend (M33) and I only made it official a few weeks ago.

When it comes to having dinner together, we take turns cooking for each other.

So one person will buy the food and cook one night, and then the other person will buy the food and cook the second night, and so on.

When I cook, I always make sure he has enough food and I make a bit extra in case either of us want more.

But when he cooks, he dishes me up such a small portion of food with no extra to spare, while he has plenty of food on his plate.

He gives me a portion about the size of one egg (not literally just an egg but I’m using an egg as size comparison.

It would be, say, some pasta in a portion equivalent to about one egg).

Normally I would eat about 4x that amount or more and he sees me eating a lot more than that when I cook.

I have spoken to him about this multiple times and he just says things like “I wouldn’t expect you to eat much more than that at your size”.

And yes, I am small and slim but that doesn’t mean that I don’t eat like a normal person. That doesn’t mean that I starve myself. I actually eat a...

I’m just not genetically inclined to gain weight. Size is not always a good indication of how much a person eats and how much they actually require.

Normally after a lengthy conversation he will finally accept that I need more food, but then the next time he cooks it’s back to the egg sized portion.

Last night I finally cracked. I told him “you keep doing this despite several conversations about it and you clearly do not understand my needs.

I will not be cooking for you anymore and I don’t want you to cook for me either.

We will just cook our own meals until you learn to understand my needs”.

He told me that I am ruining our dinners together and now he is giving me the silent treatment.

I appreciate it when he cooks but I’m sorry, what he gives me is just not enough food.

I know I can make more food for myself after, I’m a grown adult, but that’s really not the point.

The point is that he is completely disregarding my needs despite me pointing it out to him multiple times.

I’m not willing to cook for him anymore and be all considerate of his needs while mine are going unmet. So AITAH?

The woman highlighted a repeated pattern where her boyfriend dished out egg-sized portions for her despite knowing she eats significantly more when she cooks. His justification ignored her direct feedback and her explanation that body size doesn’t always match appetite or nutritional needs.

Many readers saw this as more than a simple oversight. They pointed out that dismissing someone’s expressed needs multiple times, especially around something essential like food, can signal a lack of care or even an attempt to influence her eating habits. The silent treatment that followed only amplified the tension, turning a practical complaint into an emotional standoff.

Opposing views might argue he was simply estimating portions based on appearance or trying to be practical with food amounts, but the consistency despite conversations suggests the issue runs deeper than miscommunication.

This situation broadens into larger questions about respect and control in budding relationships. Research shows that controlling behaviors, including attempts to influence a partner’s eating, often appear early and can escalate if unaddressed. Food-related control is recognized as a subtle but serious form of coercive control in some abusive dynamics, where one partner seeks to dictate or limit the other’s intake under the guise of concern.

See also  Woman Discovers Husband Has Been Making Fun Of Her Behind Her Back, Now She's Leaving

Psychologist and domestic violence expert Lundy Bancroft has noted how entitlement in relationships leads to unfair expectations: “The abusive man’s high entitlement leads him to have unfair and unreasonable expectations, so that the relationship revolves around his demands… You can pour all your energy into keeping your partner content, but if he has this mind-set, he’ll never be satisfied for long.”

This perspective is relevant here, as the boyfriend’s repeated disregard for her stated needs and subsequent withdrawal of communication shifted focus away from mutual care toward his reaction.

Experts emphasize that healthy partnerships thrive on listening and adjusting rather than defensiveness. A practical middle ground could involve simple adjustments like letting the person being served choose their portion or plating meals together to ensure both feel heard.

Communication workshops or even casual check-ins focused on needs rather than blame can help new couples build better habits before small issues snowball. Ultimately, the advice many lean toward is to watch whether a partner respects boundaries once they’re clearly voiced, especially in the honeymoon phase when patterns are still forming.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Many users believe the boyfriend is intentionally controlling the author’s food intake to manage her weight and body.

luvoxshorty − NTA. You have brought up this issue several times so there is no chance it is an honest mistake on his part.

Also his comment about your body to justify it is really weird

[Reddit User] − NTA You spoke your mind multiple times. He ignored you. Sounds like he's trying to watch YOUR weight, which is kinda a red flag.

I might be over-reaching, but I don't think so. And then he pouted and behaved like a sullen child. Sounds like a winner.

Anxious-Routine-5526 − NTA. You've spoken to him repeatedly, and he has ignored you.

Your BF sounds like he's trying to control your eating because he doesn't want you to get fat.

He thinks you eat too much, and this is his way of countering that.

shammy_dammy − Sounds like he's trying to control your weight. Or just... control you.

Some people view his behavior as emotional abuse and advise the author to end the new relationship immediately.

JadieJang − That's at least three red flags right there:

1. Controlling your portions

2. Ignoring your boundaries

3. Silent treatment

Cut and run, OP. Cut and run.

Ok_East8736 − This relationship isn't even a month old and he's starving you? Jesus

VanEagles17 − I have spoken to him about this multiple times and he just says things like “I wouldn’t expect you to eat much more than that at your size”...

Yeah. You just made it official, don't waste any more time on this guy.

He's already trying to control your food portions by making you concerned about your weight,

and you know it's on purpose because you've talked to him about it multiple times without any success,

and now he's giving you the silent treatment to make you feel like this is all your fault.

This is emotional abuse, and it's going to get worse I can guarantee it.

Other people highlight that the boyfriend is purposefully ignoring her needs despite her repeated attempts to communicate.

Electronic_Fox_6383 − He understands your needs. He just doesn't care. Why are you with him? NTA

thrunabulax − do the old time solution: He dishes up both plates, and YOU choose which one of them you want to eat! works perfectly

BecketGrove − What dinners are you ruining? The ones where he starved you?

That rich coming from a guy who always has more that enough to eat. So either understands what you are saying and doesn’t care or he’s stupid.

Do you think the Redditor’s decision to stop mutual cooking was a fair boundary or an overreaction in a fresh relationship? How would you handle a partner who repeatedly overlooks your basic needs despite clear talks? Share your thoughts below!

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