This is a heartbreaking and incredibly difficult situation, especially for someone as young as his sister, who is being hurt by the very people who should be her biggest support system.
This 20-year-old brother just learned that their parents told his 6-year-old sister that they regret having her and even went as far as saying they would have aborted her if they had known she would struggle with certain things. The hurtful comments were about her being “mentally slow,” which is both cruel and damaging to a child’s self-esteem.
After confronting his parents, the brother finds himself caught between anger and worry. His sister is clinging to him for comfort, afraid and confused by their parents’ words, and he’s deeply concerned about how she will cope once he moves out, as his parents have given him just two months to leave.
The dilemma of whether to stay and protect his sister or follow his own path looms large. Keep reading to see how others would handle the situation and what steps they think the brother should take to support his sister while navigating this toxic family dynamic.
A 20-year-old man confronts his parents after they regret having his 6-year-old sister
When a parent tells a child something as devastating as “we regret having you,” it isn’t just harsh language, it can qualify as emotional abuse and neglect, which science shows has real and measurable effects on children’s development and mental health.
Words from caregivers carry intense weight in early childhood because young brains are wired to make meaning out of what adults say. Harsh or demeaning comments from parents do more than sting in the moment; they shape a child’s sense of worth, safety, and identity.
Research on child maltreatment describes emotional abuse as patterns of behavior that harm a child’s emotional well‑being through persistent rejection, humiliation, or terrorizing. These behaviors can increase a child’s risk for anxiety, depression, low self‑esteem, and attachment issues.
In fact, psychological research shows that emotional abuse and neglect are associated with negative outcomes that can be just as serious as those from physical abuse.
Examples of documented effects include:
- Increased depression and anxiety: Children exposed to psychological abuse are more likely to experience depression and anxiety symptoms compared to those who are not maltreated.
- Low self‑esteem and insecurity: Persistent rejection or emotional invalidation can make children internalize a belief that they are unworthy or unloved.
- Long‑term emotional difficulties: Emotional abuse and neglect have been linked to long‑term issues such as difficulty forming healthy relationships, emotional dysregulation, and a higher risk of mental health challenges in adulthood.
- Brain development impact: Verbal abuse and harsh parental words are so impactful that neuroscientists note they can alter neural circuits related to threat detection and emotional processing, shaping how a child perceives the world.
Importantly, it’s not only overt physical harm that damages a child. Emotional neglect, a failure to validate, comfort, or respond to a child’s emotional needs, is recognized across clinical sources as a significant form of maltreatment with lasting consequences.
One study on the social psychology of regretting parenthood found that regret or resentment toward having a child can sometimes be linked to stressors such as financial strain or special caregiving needs.
However, researchers emphasize that these issues represent important social and psychological concerns, not just isolated parental frustrations.
What all of these findings clearly show is this: when caregivers repeatedly belittle, reject, or emotionally harm a child, it can undermine the child’s emotional foundation and increase the risk of long‑term psychological struggles.
In such situations, protecting a vulnerable child, emotionally and physically, is critical, especially if the parent continues to behave in ways that are dismissive or hurtful toward them.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
These users strongly recommended contacting CPS, citing the verbal abuse and potential neglect the sister is facing
This group expressed concern over the sister’s verbal abuse and suggested the OP could take guardianship or at least intervene by offering her a safe space
These commenters supported the idea of helping the sister by providing a safe environment
This group empathized with the OP’s situation, sharing personal stories or offering advice on how to take care of the sister’s well-being
Should he fight for custody and take on this responsibility, or is there another way to protect her? How would you handle this situation? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!
