Is It A Joke Or Is It Bullying? When “Just Pranking” Crosses The Line

We all grow up hearing that friends are the family we choose for ourselves. We hope for people who will cheer us on, have our backs, and, most importantly, keep us feeling safe. It is such a special thing when we find that circle of people who truly understand who we are and respect our needs.

But what happens when the people who are supposed to support you make a game out of your discomfort? One Redditor recently opened up about a heart-wrenching situation where his own friends were using his medical condition to intentionally scare him.

It’s a powerful, honest story about realizing the difference between having people around you and having true, genuine friends. Let’s dive into what happened and why setting firm boundaries is often an act of self-love.

The Story

Is It a Joke or Is It Bullying? When "Just Pranking" Crosses the Line
Not the actual photo

WIBTA if I tell my friends to stop approaching me completely?

Alright let’s start some context. So, I was born with a degenerative issue. Over time, I’ve lost all sight in my right eye.

I also come from a… pretty poor household, which means I don’t do well with sudden touches, and things of that nature, and I get scared easily.

Like a skittish dog. Anyways, since I don’t see from my right eye, I’ve asked my friends to give me a heads up if they’re approaching me from my right,

because chances are, I haven’t seen them. This has turned into a game of “let’s see how much we can spook traumatisedandmad by approaching him

and touching him suddenly.” I have a few friends who hate that, and warn me when anyone’s around my right, but they’re not always there.

WIBTA if I tell these certain friends that if they can’t f__king behave around me, they can stop approaching me completely?

edit: i meant poor as in s__tty household. poverty wasn’t the main issue i faced growing up. sorry for the confusion y’all

edit #2: based on your responses, i texted my best friend that i probably won’t be hanging out with those certain friends.

he texted back “so you’ve finally seen the light?” figured y’all would like to know someone has my back in all of this.

Oh, friend, reading this makes my heart heavy. It is genuinely disheartening to hear that anyone would take something as vulnerable as a vision impairment and turn it into a target. A friend is someone who looks out for you, not someone who lurks in your blind spot waiting for a reaction.

The strength it took for the OP to recognize this toxic pattern is honestly so impressive. Walking away from “friends” can feel lonely, but it’s the best way to make room for people who will actually lift you up. It is a tough lesson, but a necessary one. Everyone deserves to walk through the world feeling safe, supported, and truly seen, or in the OP’s case, properly warned.

Expert Opinion

This story shines a light on a dark side of friendship, specifically how “gaslighting” and “bullying” can disguise themselves as jokes. When a friend persistently ignores a clearly stated boundary, especially one rooted in safety and medical needs, they are signaling that their entertainment matters more to them than your peace of mind.

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Psychologists suggest that these kinds of friends may suffer from a lack of empathy or an underdeveloped sense of social responsibility. In a healthy friendship, “turning toward” your friend’s needs is the foundation of the bond. According to researchers at the Gottman Institute, the core of any stable relationship is respect for one’s boundaries and responses. When one person consistently makes a “game” of the other’s pain, the foundational trust is gone.

Dr. Wendy L. Patrick, writing for Psychology Today, explains that bullying isn’t limited to school playgrounds; it can absolutely happen within adult social groups. By ignoring his requests and turning his disability into a “spook” game, they were essentially engaging in psychological harassment.

Setting a boundary, as the OP intends to do, is an act of reclaiming your personal agency. When people ignore “no,” the only logical next step is “goodbye.” True friends might have been clumsy at first, but they would have corrected their behavior immediately upon learning how much hurt they were causing.

Community Opinions

Readers immediately rallied around the OP, pointing out that true friends never use your health or trauma as the punchline to a joke.

The_Boss16 − NTA those people are not your friends. Dump them.

BigPenisSarah − NTA Your friends are aware of what needs to be done in order to make you comfortable,

and they ignore that so that they can laugh at your expense. IMO, the friends who do this to you, are not true friends.

lvk3 − NTA You’ve asked them for this simple consideration to help you be comfortable in the world.

They’ve decided to punch down. They’re not your friends. Being a friend is a demonstrable set of actions. Tell them to f--k off.

Several commenters encouraged the OP to see this as a necessary transition toward finding better quality people.

PhoenixRisingToday − NTA Those friends need to grow TF up. If not, why keep them in your life?

theymightbezombies − NTA. You need new friends.

Alma_knack − "Friend, you have repeatedly violated a boundary I set. This is not funny or ok for me...

I am not willing to be friends with people who purposefully hurt me. I am rethinking our friendship. Don't approach me again."

Many pointed out that the friends’ behavior is not just mean-spirited, but a deliberate and cruel act.

lovelyfifthalternate − NTA - if you're not laughing with them, then it's not a joke. It's a cruel trick.

If they know it upsets you and they do it anyway, then they're probably not very nice people.

[Reddit User] − NTA These are not your friends. These are cruel people harassing you for a f--king medical condition.

It's just nasty bullying. I'm so sorry OP. People who behave this way should be friendless.

Some offered humorous and assertive suggestions for handling these “pranksters” in the future.

BroadElderberry − NTA. My boyfriend used to do this to me because he thought it was funny.

He stopped very quickly when he realized that my reaction to being startled is to punch. Hard.

laialooloo − Start macing them. Oh sorry l thought you were trying to attack me. They’ll soon stop.

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

If you feel like you are being disrespected by those around you, start by speaking your truth. You can be gentle but firm. Use “I” statements, like “I feel unsafe when people approach me from my right side without warning, and it’s very important to me that you respect this.”

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If they continue the behavior after that clear conversation, you have your answer. You are not the “bad guy” for ending a connection that leaves you feeling frightened or small. It’s important to surround yourself with people who prioritize your well-being over their amusement. Trust your gut, if it feels like a trick, it is a trick.

Conclusion

This story reminds us that our personal peace is worth protecting, even if that means walking away from the table. It is truly heartening that the OP has at least one friend who “gets it” and has his back. That one supportive connection is a perfect start to building a new, better circle of friends.

What do you think is the biggest sign that a friendship has become toxic? Have you ever had to draw a hard line to protect your own mental or physical safety? Let us know below.

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