Boyfriend Cheats After Woman Rejects The Idea That Her Body Is His Property

Long-term relationships don’t always stay the same, especially when it comes to intimacy. Over time, priorities shift, energy changes, and what once felt effortless can start to feel complicated.

For OP, this shift has created tension in a relationship that has lasted over a decade and includes a young child.

What makes things more difficult is how differently both partners see the situation. While one side views intimacy as something essential, the other feels a growing distance from it.

That gap has already led to a serious betrayal, and now the blame is being pushed in a direction that doesn’t sit right. Keep reading to see how this conflict unfolds!

Woman blamed by boyfriend for cheating after long dry spell

Boyfriend Cheats After Woman Rejects The Idea That Her Body Is His Property
not the actual photo

'Am I wrong for not giving my BF s__ whenever he wants?'

My bf and I have been together for a decade and we have a 2 year old.

My s__ drive has went down a lot in the recent years.

There was a time I didn’t have s__ when him in a year

and he couldn’t control himself because of the s__ual frustration

and he cheated on me with some random girl half our age.

When I found out about the cheating he blamed me and said it was my fault

because I stopped having s__ with him. He said he does everything right

and I am the problem. It is true he is an active and involved father

but I just don’t want to have s__. It is rare when I’m actually in the mood.

I did see a doctor and it’s normal when you start to age

and you’re not a horny teenager anymore. S__ is just not what I want to do,

I will rarely what to do it. My bf blamed me because it’s my job to have s__ with him

whenever he wants or else I’m just asking to get cheated on

Sometimes the hardest part of a relationship isn’t mismatched desire, it’s being told your boundaries are the problem.

In this situation, OP isn’t just dealing with a difference in libido. She’s facing blame, pressure, and a serious breach of trust. Her drop in desire is not unusual.

After years together, especially with a young child, it’s very common for interest in intimacy to shift.

Stress, exhaustion, hormonal changes, and emotional load all play a role. What matters here is that instead of approaching this as something to work through together, her partner chose to step outside the relationship and then place the responsibility on her.

That’s where the real issue sits.

From his perspective, he may frame this as frustration or unmet needs. But frustration does not remove accountability. Cheating is a choice.

Blaming a partner for it is something else entirely, it shifts responsibility away from the person who broke the agreement and places it on the person who was hurt.

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There’s also something else worth noticing. OP mentioned she rarely feels in the mood. That doesn’t automatically mean something is “wrong” with her.

It could be her body responding to emotional dynamics, feeling blamed, pressured, or disconnected can significantly impact desire. In many cases, emotional safety comes first, and physical intimacy follows, not the other way around.

Looking at the bigger picture, this isn’t just about intimacy levels. It’s about respect, accountability, and how conflict is handled.

A partner who cheats and then says it’s “your job” to prevent that is not addressing the issue, they’re avoiding responsibility.

And that leaves OP in a painful position: trying to fix something that was never hers to carry alone.

Because in a healthy relationship, desire may fluctuate, problems may arise, but respect and accountability should never disappear with them.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

These commenters argue that your boyfriend was wrong to cheat

babyshark75 − your bf is a cheater. S__ can make or break relationships

Primary-Management97 − After a year of r__ection he should have left.

It's not a normal part of aging, you're just not compatible

This group focuses on the lack of obligation

[Reddit User] − You aren't obligated to give your boyfriend s__

and I absolutely don't condone cheating.

However, you can't unilaterally decide you are going to be in a celibate relationship

and expect him to stay. You need to have an honest conversation,

and if you are taking intimacy off the table, he has a decision to make.

[Reddit User] − You deserve to live s__-free. He deserves to be in a relationship with s__.

This is not going to work. Time to split up, I think.

alwaysright12 − It is not your job to have s__ with him whenever he wants.

You should never have s__ you dont want. You shouldn't stay with a cheater either.

However, he also shouldn't stay in a sexless relationship. Better for both of you to end it.

Anandi96 − Umm, I’m a woman and I would never stay with someone

who doesn’t wanna have s__ with me for a year. . he was still wrong to cheat tho,

he should have ended it amicably.

Connect_Intention_36 − While you're certainly not obligated to do something

you don't want to, no s__ for a year is absolutely a dead bedroom.

While cheating is a scumbag move, id have absolutely left

already to find someone who thought I was attractive and actually wanted me.

Coffeeslurped − Not often is one thing. Not for a year is another.

You're not asking to be cheated on (the cheating is super wrong),

but you are asking to be left for someone who does value physical intimacy.

I have been in your situation and it's hard to get in the mood

when kids are small but do what you need to do, find toys that get your motor running,

make sure he's doing what you like but he values s__ and physical intimacy

and you've unilaterally decided it's not important.

It is important to him, so it should be important to you.

I would say the same to him if you wanted nice sit-down dinners

and he thought it was a waste of money.

If it's important to one, it needs to be a priority for the other.

Working-Hat4932 − He is wrong for cheating, but if you have decided to

that you don't want to have s__ anymore, you cant be surprised

that this will cause issues in your relationship

These users challenged the medical advice you received

 

PartyNeither1996 − One year in a relationship is BANANAS.

I am a 49F happily married 16 years (together 22) and we average 2x weekly.

S__ is also about connecting when in a relationship.

He is AH for cheating but your MD is Aldo an AH for pretending your lack of desire is healthy.

You may have underlying hormonal issues or psychological issues that need addressing.

Only you can decide if you want to dump him (I’m sure trust is gone),

but regardless you need to get checked out again.

[Reddit User] − With an attitude like his, no WONDER you’ve gone off s__ with him!

His cheating, and reasons for doing so/threatening it again,

are abusive and manipulative behaviours . . it’s him that needs therapy,

then both of you to couple counselling. You’re not wrong, sheesh.

meinkausalitat − No s__ for a year? What about other things?

Intimacy for men is how men express love in a relationship,

by rejecting him for a year your effectively communicate you have no desire for him.

Men will cheat in that scenario despite what a lot of people in this say.

It is both partner’s job to keep regular intimacy.

While he absolutely should not have cheated, the biggest problem

men have is not being clear how important intimacy is to them.

They feel it emasculates them to have to beg for it

so they look for that validation somewhere else.

You are 100% wrong for rejecting your partner for a year

and if you’re no longer s__ually compatible you both should contemplate a split.

Luckily it sounds like you’re not married, but with a kid it will be tough.

Lastly, kids need to see happy and intimate partners.

It can really s__ew up their brains to be around cold parents

who fight and are not affectionate.

ibeerianhamhock − You’re not wrong, but I wish people would have

a more nuanced take on this. He’s never entitled to your body. Full stop.

That being said, I’m sure a sexless relationship would be absolutely miserable

for someone who still feels s__ual.

Like if it’s slowed down that’s fine, once every week or two

or maybe once a month or something (not like in a score keeping way

but like just to paint a picture) is understandable…

but if you guys are having s__ like once a year or something like that…

that’s incredibly painful for the other partner.

I have a female friend who goes through that and it absolutely crushes her.

He just doesn’t have a desire to have s__,

but it also comes across like he doesn’t give a flying f__k about her s__ual needs

or that she’s incredibly s__ually frustrated.

I don’t have a good answer for how to resolve stuff like that,

but tbh I actually do understand people who cheat in relationships

where they just never have s__ and go like a year or more even without s__.

That’s just not healthy for most people.

OP isn’t just dealing with mismatched intimacy needs, she’s dealing with a partner who crossed a line and then tried to shift the blame onto her.

A lowered s__ drive can happen for many reasons, and OP even sought medical input, which shows she’s not ignoring the issue.

But cheating isn’t a side effect of frustration, it’s a choice, and framing it as her responsibility creates a deeper problem than the lack of s__ itself.

What stands out isn’t just the difference in desire, but the pressure and entitlement being placed on OP afterward. That shifts the situation from a relationship issue into one about respect and accountability.

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So the real question becomes: is this about compatibility, or about one person refusing to take responsibility for their actions? And where should the line be drawn when “needs” start being used as justification for betrayal?

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