He Cut Off His Best Friend After A Drunken Rant Targeted His Pregnant Fiancée, And Now Their Entire Circle Is Divided

It should have been one of the happiest seasons of his life. After a year and a half of being engaged, a man and his fiancée were preparing to welcome their first child.

The news brought excitement, a bit of family tension at first, and then, eventually, joy all around.

They were even thinking ahead, talking about godparents, imagining the kind of support system they wanted for their baby.

One name came up naturally. His best friend of five years.

He Cut Off His Best Friend After a Drunken Rant Targeted His Pregnant Fiancée, and Now Their Entire Circle Is Divided
Not the actual photo

Here’s the original post:'AITA for Telling my best friend I do not care about his mental health after he told my fiancé to get an a__rtion?'

Some Backstory: I have been engaged to my fiancé(F)for the past year and a half and

we are currently expecting our first child in the summer. My “friend” T has known me for 5 years and

got on well with my fiancé and I whilst we’ve been dating. His family has a history of mental health and he suffers from depression like his mother.

When we first found out F was pregnant we were both really happy her mum was overjoyed and

my parents weren’t too happy as they believed in marriage first but they’ve dropped that now so we all get along well.

When we were discussing people we wanted to be godparents we both agreed T was one of them.

When we told him about the pregnancy he was shocked and rather confused but we thought he just needed time to process it.

Instead he proceeded to call me at 3 am two weeks later using my other friends phone,

he proceeded to yell abuse about me and my fiancé whilst fighting my friend from taking back his phone,

i ended the call after 20 minutes and text him saying how rude and disrespectful he was to me and that

he had misused my trust as I had assumed that a call at 3 am meant

he was in trouble or wanted to talk to someone whilst he was waiting to be picked up.

The next day I received another call from him apologising and blaming his outburst on the alcohol and I forgave him.

The very next day he went out drinking again and ended up having a text argument with

my Fiancé calling her a s__t and saying he would never want to have a child with her because of what she is,

he then proceeded to tell her to get an a__rtion to save me from her.

I cut him out of my life and refused to see or talk to him for months until recently as he reached out on his birthday to try and reconcile.

I told him I wanted nothing to do with him and that if he thought he could say

what he said and be in the right he was dead wrong, he started to say

how we had outed his mental health problems to his mother and I said I didn’t care about it

as it was obvious to all of the people who knew him that he struggles with it.

I blocked all forms of communication and have told friends I don’t want them to pick sides as is not their fight..

I’ve since lost friends who have said I didn’t respect his privacy whilst saying he is completely innocent..

I’m pretty sure I’m in the right here but just incase. AITA?

Edit: when he says we “outed him to his mum” what happened was we were at a party and

she had asked others about his mental health before us most of them saying they weren’t sure or didn’t know.

I told her that she should talk to her son and ask him herself as it won’t help asking others and

not him and to be prepared for a long conversation. Nothing about his depression or any details were mentioned at all

Edit 2: I’ve shown my fiancé this post and she didn’t like how I described her we talked about it

and I have since apologised and moved it out of the post

At first, the friend, who had a known history of depression, reacted with surprise when he heard about the pregnancy.

Nothing alarming, just a bit off. The couple assumed he needed time to process it. Instead, things took a sharp turn two weeks later.

At 3 a.m., the man received a call from his friend, who had apparently borrowed someone else’s phone. What followed was twenty minutes of shouting, insults, and chaos.

The friend was drunk, yelling about him and his fiancée while someone else tried to wrestle the phone away. It felt less like a conversation and more like being ambushed.

Still, he tried to handle it calmly. The next day, when the apology came, blaming alcohol for the outburst, he accepted it. People make mistakes. That could have been the end of it.

It wasn’t.

The very next night, the friend went out drinking again. This time, instead of a call, it was a direct attack on the fiancée. The messages were cruel and personal.

He called her names, questioned her character, and then crossed a line that couldn’t be uncrossed. He told her to get an abortion, claiming it would somehow “save” his friend from her.

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That was it.

The man cut him off completely. No calls, no messages, no second chances. For months, there was silence, and honestly, it felt justified.

Protecting his partner, especially while she was pregnant, became the priority. Some lines, once crossed, change everything.

Then, on his birthday, the friend reached out.

It wasn’t a dramatic apology or a long explanation. Just an attempt to reconnect.

But instead of reopening the door, the man shut it firmly. He told him he wanted nothing to do with him, that what he said was unacceptable, and that there was no coming back from it.

That’s when the situation twisted again.

The friend shifted the narrative. He accused the couple of outing his mental health struggles to his mother.

According to him, they had violated his privacy, exposed something deeply personal, and turned people against him.

The man didn’t hold back this time. He said he didn’t care. Not because mental health didn’t matter, but because, in his eyes, it had nothing to do with the behavior that caused all this damage.

To him, the issue was simple. His friend had been cruel, repeatedly, and then tried to hide behind excuses.

He blocked him everywhere.

What he didn’t expect was the fallout from the rest of their social circle.

Some friends sided with him, seeing the situation as clear-cut. Others weren’t so sure.

A few argued that he had crossed a line by dismissing mental health entirely, even in anger.

Some even claimed the friend was “innocent,” or at least not fully responsible for what he said while drunk and struggling.

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That’s where things got messy.

Because while mental health can explain behavior, it doesn’t erase consequences.

And alcohol might lower inhibitions, but it rarely invents entirely new thoughts out of thin air. The cruelty in those messages didn’t come from nowhere.

At the same time, his own reaction wasn’t perfect. Saying he didn’t care about someone’s mental health, even in the heat of the moment, can come across as harsh and dismissive.

It’s the kind of statement that sticks, especially when repeated through a group of mutual friends.

Still, context matters. He wasn’t responding to a quiet confession or a plea for help. He was reacting to repeated, targeted attacks against the person he loves most.

There’s also something else worth noticing here. The friend didn’t just lash out once.

He apologized, then did it again, escalating the behavior. That pattern makes it harder to chalk everything up to a bad night.

At some point, accountability has to enter the picture.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Most people were firmly on his side, arguing that mental health and alcohol are not free passes for abusive behavior. Many pointed out that protecting his fiancée and future child should come first, no exceptions.

[Reddit User] − NTA NTA NTA This guy is off the rails and needs to find someone else to abuse. Block him permanently.

No excuses, no guilt trips, no crying about his mental health. We are responsible for our actions and friends are optional.

facinationstreet − she’s a gypsy but was adopted so she has a university degree in teaching.

What an odd and unfortunate way to describe your future wife.

we were at a party and she had asked others about his mental health What is up with the circle of people you run with?

This is hardly a conversation that should be had on a circuit around the room.

And for sure isn't a conversation a mother should be having with anyone except her son.

NTA. Your friends shared as much (as little) as you did re: his mental health.

They have no room to point fingers. Also, he's clearly got some serious issues with your fiance.

procrastinating_b − His mental health problems have nothing to do with his opinions on your child

Others, however, zoomed in on the way he spoke about both his friend’s condition and, at times, even his fiancée, suggesting there might be deeper issues in the group dynamic.

Ok_Smell_8260 − NTA. He sounds like a r__ist i__ot.

crypt_orchid − NTA Your fiance is a gypsy and thus your friend doesn't like her being a mother to your children? Your friend is an unfunny Borat, like c'mon.

jackieatx − NTA. This guy is in love with you. He is jealous.

A few comments were blunt enough to sting, but the overall tone leaned supportive, with a strong message. Boundaries matter, and sometimes cutting someone off is the only real option.

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hahahawow1312 − I was with you until “she was a g—— but was adopted so she has a university degree in teaching”…

“but”? !? “So”? !?! Does your fiancé know you talk about her/people in general that way?

Are that the views you wanna raise a child with? No wonder your friends suck too, ESH

MamaFen − NTA. Some people like to use depression or other mental illnesses as an excuse for poor Behavior.

That's a little bit like using cancer as an excuse to rob a bank.

Your former friend is abusing his condition, not treating it, and as such I think your lack of sympathy is appropriate.

Take good care of yourself and your fiance, and let your concerns about this situation go.

jammy913 − INFO: Did you out his mental health issues to his mother? That accusation seemed to come out of left field.

[Reddit User] − NTA, he can not blame mental heath and being drunk for saying things like that.

This story isn’t just about one friendship falling apart. It’s about where people draw the line between empathy and self-respect.

Supporting someone through mental health struggles is important, but it doesn’t mean tolerating harm, especially when it’s directed at your family.

He may have been harsh in his words, but his actions were clear. He chose to protect his partner and his future child.

And maybe that’s the real question here. When someone shows you who they are at their worst, do you keep making space for them, or do you finally close the door?

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