Woman Hides Expensive Shampoo From Friend’s Guest, Now He’s Calling Her Petty

Living with a roommate can bring up tricky situations, especially when personal belongings are involved. OP and her friend share an apartment, but when her friend’s guest, Sarah, used her expensive shampoo and conditioner without asking, OP was understandably upset.

The products were a treat for herself, something she couldn’t afford often, and she didn’t want them used up by a guest who hadn’t asked for permission.

When Sarah came over again and asked to use the shower, OP decided to hide the expensive products and leave only the basic shampoo out for Sarah to use. Her friend didn’t take kindly to this and called OP rude and petty.

Was OP wrong for hiding her products, or was she justified in protecting what she had worked hard to afford? Keep reading to see how others weigh in on this situation.

A woman hides her expensive shampoo and conditioner from her friend’s guest, causing tension with her friend

Woman Hides Expensive Shampoo From Friend’s Guest, Now He’s Calling Her Petty
not the actual photo

'AITA for hiding my expensive shampoo and conditioner from my friend’s guest?'

I (28F) share an apartment with my friend (34M).

Last weekend, while we were away, he invited his female friend (Sarah) to stay over.

When we got back, I noticed she had used most of my shampoo and conditioner without asking.

I had splurged on these expensive products to treat myself. I also make a lot less money than my friend.

Today, Sarah came over again for a visit and asked to shower at ours before heading to a dance class.

However, I had taken my expensive products to my room this time, leaving only my friend’s basic shampoo out for her to use.

When she couldn’t find the conditioner, she asked my friend, who came to my room to ask me about it.

I told him that she’s his guest, and it’s not my responsibility to provide spa products for her.

My friend got mad and thinks I’m rude and petty. AITA?

UPDATE: I showed my friend where to buy the shampoo and conditioner,

he said he’s sorry for getting angry and ordered new bottles for everyone to use. Thanks for all the NTA comments!!

In life, how others treat what we value tells us a lot about respect and boundaries. At some point, most people have felt a moment of violation when something important to them was used without permission.

When someone takes what you consider a personal luxury, not because you’re rich, but because it matters to you, that cuts deeper than the price tag.

That emotional truth resonates with the original poster (OP) here, who wasn’t just upset about shampoo and conditioner being used; she felt her personal space and dignity were brushed aside.

In this situation, OP’s reaction wasn’t about being petty. It was about feeling overlooked and taken for granted. She works hard, earns less than her roommate, and finally splurged on a treat, something that made her feel good. When a guest repeatedly used those items without asking, OP experienced a sense of loss and disrespect.

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Even though these products might seem trivial to some, to OP they represented self‑care and financial effort. Her decision to put them away wasn’t spiteful. It was protective. It was a way of saying, “This matters to me. Please respect that.”

Many people assume that anything in a shared bathroom is free game, especially for guests. But what feels like generosity to one person can feel like intrusion to another.

When expectations about shared space or shared items aren’t discussed, resentment quietly grows. OP didn’t want to be unkind. She wanted fairness. That’s a nuance easy to miss if you only see the surface of the situation.

Healthy personal boundaries are more than just rules. They are emotional safeguards.

According to an article on Verywell Mind about setting boundaries, “Boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around them and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits.”

Establishing clear limits is not selfish. It protects your wellbeing and fosters healthier relationships.

This helps explain why OP’s response wasn’t extreme. When someone repeatedly uses your items without permission, it signals a boundary has already been crossed.

Putting the products away wasn’t dramatic, it was a natural next step in protecting her comfort. It also offered a chance for communication: she didn’t hide everything forever, she simply signaled that her belongings are not communal by default.

When her friend later apologized and replaced the products for communal use, it underscored an important lesson, mutual respect starts with understanding each other’s limits.

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In friendships and shared living situations, clarity about personal belongings prevents small frustrations from growing into resentment. If you feel your boundaries are important, trust that feeling. Speaking up respectfully often opens the door to deeper understanding, not conflict.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

These comments emphasize that using someone else’s expensive products without permission is disrespectful and inconsiderate

MizZo2 − Ask your roommate how much the products cost.

Laugh in his face when he thinks it's like men's shampoo that's $5 (I say this as a man). NTA.

Also, I get having a quick shower to freshen up but who does a whole shampoo and condition

before going to a dance class that's just going to drop a bunch of sweat into their hair anyway? NTA x2

piamettes − NTA, I have lived with people who I don't trust to not use my stuff,

and have had to only bring my stuff to the shower when I'm actively using it.

It's a horrible feeling to feel like your personal property is not being respected.

No one should have to be stressed/paranoid about their personal belongings being stolen in their own home.

Both of them should know what happened and one of them SHOULD offer to repay the loss in some way.

It's ridiculous that she complained about products she has no ownership of missing from the shower. It's not rude or petty of you.

She's the rude one for not only disrespecting personal property, but then pushing about it when it was no longer present in the shower.

Utterly ridiculous to the point that I wish I found this difficult to believe.

Because of my own experience, I believe this, and also am getting annoyed for you.

I'd recommend making sure that none of your other property, such as food and drink, is being effectively stolen.

Also if she needs to use shampoo/conditioner, she needs to bring her own, or the roommate needs to provide it.

Unfortunately, I'd suggest not putting your stuff back in the shower.

ExistenceRaisin − NTA. She’s his guest, she shouldn’t be using your expensive products,

and he certainly shouldn’t be expecting you to provide them for her.

If she wants to use the good stuff at your place, he should pay for it, or better yet she should shower at her own place

sunflower_noir − NTA. How does someone use ALL of a product like shampoo and conditioner??

How much did she use?? She’s not your guest and not entitled to your stuff. That’s the end of it.

Worth-Season3645 − NTA…. To use most of someone else’s product? Nope. Tell him what you buy and let him buy done to keep on hand.

Or if she is going to be a regular “guest”, she can keep a caddy of her own products for use.

DJ_Too_Supreme_AITA − NTA. My friend got mad and thinks I’m rude and petty.

What is rude is using other people's stuff without permission.

Why can’t he let his guest use his conditioner?

lihzee − NTA. They aren't hers to use. They're your expensive products and she didn't even ask before using them the first time.

You're not being petty, you're being practical.

OkeyDokey654 − NTA. She’s got a lot of nerve requesting her buddy’s roommate’s stuff!

These comments provide practical advice

Current_Two_7395 − NTA. Listen, once is an accident.

I could potentially believe that expensive products belong to their male friend and not the female roommate.

But in my opinion, using them once and then explicitly noticing

that the products are NOT there anymore sends a very clear message: You weren't supposed to use those.

The polite thing to do is apologize, or at the very least don't bring it up

ComprehensiveSet927 − NTA. Send him a link to the products he can purchase for all 3 of you.

These comments express surprise or frustration at the audacity of the guest

[Reddit User] − Nta. She showered at theirs to purposely use her products. Seems weird though. I don’t shower at my friends house

rosebudny − NTA! My friend stayed in my place last week when I was away and I noticed she used my expensive shampoo/conditioner.

I made a note to myself to put these away next time someone stayed in my apartment. And these are people I invited to stay.

appleblossom1962 − NTA. Who showers before dance class? She just wanted to use your prime products

HappySummerBreeze − Your friend doesn’t realize how expensive those products are.

You should have just said they were finished largely because of how much she used last time. Nta

Hot-Body-1327 − NTA she wanted to take a shower there so she could use the good stuff

What do you think? Was the OP wrong to take such extreme measures, or was she simply protecting what was hers? Share your thoughts below!

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